hi, i just got onto this site, and i seen your posting. im only 20 years old.. and honestly, when i read what had occured and happened to you. i could not just keep reading on and not say anything. you have went through something i cant even relate too something alot of people dread to go through, but you will be ok one day you will miss her, you will feel pain with out her.. but , you will also wake up in the morning and have the beautiful memorys of her, the time you had with her , is still your past.. you will always have the best part of her.. you have spent many many years with her, and those just dont disappear.. you and her will forever be!!! you just have to know there are peopel out there who care... and i feel deeply for you! i coudnt even imagine what that could feel like.. smile because a new day, and laugh at the memories you have... and love because that is somethign that held you and her together for so long!@!!! what you had people look a life time for.. be thankful! and smile.... god bless!!!

calais

magic5-

Linda,

I have not been on the Olivia site for awhile, but checked my old "e-haunts"and saw your post from way back in June.  Sorry I did not see this sooner, I am astounded there have been no replies.  Maybe folks just don't know what to say that might be comforting to you.  That's how it so often is when someone dies.

 I am wondering how you are doing, another half year later?  What a terrible shock to your life, to lose your long-term partner and basically the whole life you had going with her.  Truthfully I don't know how you ever get over something like that or if it is possible to heal completely from such a deep wound.  When I was going through a terrible loss of my 9-year relationship (not to death, but may as well have been), somebody said to me "your heart is broken now, but it will get up and walk again someday....just maybe with a limp."  I guess everything big that happens in our lives changes us in ways we might never imagine, but I just wanted to reach out to you and tell you how moved I was by what you wrote.  If you still want anyone to talk to, just write me back.  I'm in the Pacific NW by the way.

Karen 

Last year, my partner of 14 years died... her health had been poor but her death was not expected.  I went to the store and came back an hour later and found her dead. 

 I knew that it would take time but its been a year now and I still feel like my heart was ripped from my body... Being around our lesbian friends HURTS because they are all still couples and regardless of problems that they may be having, it hurts because they still have their partner to have problems with...

 Linda