Beyond The Pain > Topics >  Do i need help?

Do i need help?

Last post 07/11/2008, 12:09 PM by Risque40. 2 replies.
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Risque40
Joined: 07/11/2008
Posts: 6
Re: Do i need help?
07/11/2008, 12:09 PM

Hello Lilly, I see the date on your question/situation and hope everything has gotten better for you! If so thats awesome

One thing you need to realize is that "YOU DESERVE BETTER" you deserve much more than someone going behind your back and starting a new life without dealing with what ever problems you two were having. Now we can't look in the past because we all know there is no future in the past. Don't even try to figure out anything pertainng to that right now. Your main focus should be alex and yourself he is depending on you mom. When someone wants to walk out of your life you really have no choice but to let them go. I would reply to 1 email and simply say not in anger/or a lovers tone ... thank you for your concern but please stop sending emails and calling me. And if the emails and phone calls continue ignore them she really lost the right to know anything about you and alex and she must deal with that, atleast until your ready. Some people no matter their age are to immature to give and accept real love, love is a lot of things...but what it isn't is a lie/secret/painful/resentful/disrespectful/etc etc..I think you get the point. Some like to say " oh you know I love you, just in my own way" well thats not good enough! - bottom line you have to think more of yourself before anyone else will.

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cruisecontrol20
Joined: 05/12/2008
Posts: 4
Re: Do i need help?
05/31/2008, 7:45 PM

Hi. I've been going through something very similar. I'm still crying. I still want the old life back, but reality is it will never be the same. I've been seeing a counselor and relying very heavily on family and friends.

 First - start thinking about yourself and your son. Your son needs you to be strong and happy. Start eating - I don't know your size, but you know what is a healthy weight - get there and stay there. Get outside - walk, ride a bike, sit & read. Even if you don't want or feel like doing those things, as painful and uncomfortable it is, it will give you a sense of independence. THINK POSITIVE - write yourself notes and post them.

"I will get through this." "I am strong." "I'm a survivor." Anything to encourage yourself.

If you are spiritual - pray, read, go to church. Remember that God did not do this, but He will sustain you through it.

Take it one day at a time...now I'm right in the middle of all this too - I've lost weight and have experienced depression...if you can stay busy, focus on you & your son, get out - don't stay at home - be around people - in time - it all sounds easier said than done, but you have to make yourself stop wanting her back and start believing you will be ok.

Hang in there. If she does want to come back - it needs to be on your terms - you have to heal first...

 be strong

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Lilly7203
Joined: 05/28/2008
Posts: 2
Do i need help?
05/29/2008, 3:12 PM

ok here is my story on whats going on--  We were together for 4 years till this past January.  My whole world really came down.  In the past 4 years we had a place together and raising a child together.  My son.  Which he is with me now.   I have lost 41 lbs in this time cause i am just sick over how all the promises are broken that she has made.  She found someone else while she was with me. In the past 4 months we meaning me and my son have moved.  i Have only spoken to her three times in the past 4 months.  And i saw her once which killed me to do but i had to give back some of her things she wanted.  My son askes for her all the time and i tell him she is not around anymore and wont be.  i have been doing better in the past 2 months, like starting to eat a litttle, sont think or talk about her.  stop the crying.  my god!  I use to pray every night to god to help me give a sign that she will come back to us.  i know now that will never happen.  Thing that bothers me the most is that it dont bother her.  How we are doing or how is alex doing how is anything going. 

      Just in the past 2 weeks she has been leaving me emails and started to call me but i have not replied to emails or return her calls.  i am affraid in a way.  And i really dont know why.  I also have asked alot of people how do u let go of someone you love?  Maybe someone can help me with this one.  Everyone tells me i need to get mad - be mad at her.  But inside i am not mad at her.  i dont know how tobe mad at her.  i should be but i am not.

And the other thing is also my whole family loves me excepts me for who i am and supports me in what i do.  Her whole family doesn't know who she is till this past year.  yes we had a place together but she would only be there a couple of nights a month.  She still lives with her mother.  anyway the story goes on and i dont know what to do anymore.

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