Hi Colo,
First of all I must apologize for taking so long to reply.
As a person who spent her entire life trying to be what I was told I should be and denying who I really was and mentally paying the price for it. I totally understand when you say you never let yourself question your sexuality. I grew up in a home where homosexuality was HATED, and then of coarse we had the Christain up bringing Southern Baptist might I add. Because of fear and trying to do the right thing, I grew up got married had 2 kids the dog the house the whole 9 yards. But by the time I was in my 30's I could not handle my life and I needed to find a way out. At just about any cost, I was lost because I felt trapped. I worked at the second larges southern baptist church in So. Cal. My ex husband was involved in a ministry and man how do I get out with out being drug through hell? Well ya don't. When I came out I did so to everybody,(my folks, my sisters, friends, church staff, close church friends, and of coarse my husband).Well I found out who loved me unconditionaly and who did not. I have 1 church friend left, no mom, my dad has been very supportive, sisters are sisters, and of coarse my friends who said " We were just waiting for you to figure it out." This has been the hardest yet most freeing exsprience of my life. I could not be happier than I am now because I am free free to be myself for the first time in my life. I have the most bueatiful, compasionate, understading, loving partner God has truely blessed me. So follow your heart and be true to yourself you only get one shot at this life you might as well be happy!
Now as far as lesbians not wanting to be with newly out people there is alot of truth to that. Because no one wants to involve their heart and find out that the other person does not think that they are really a lesbian. I beleive that intemacy is actually on a different level with women we are much more emotionaly driven. My recomendations are that you take it day by day flow with whom ever you are with. From personal exsperiance it was very natural and beuatiful (not like being with a man wich to me was very difficult.) Definatly follow you instincts.
I hope that I have addressed your questions and actually answered some I would definatly like to hear how you are doing and to know if I was able to help at all. If you have any other questions please feel free to write us again.
Tareasea