If you want a San Francisco experience, I would stay in Union Square at Grand Hyatt or Fairmont at Nob Hill. I'm probably not the person to recommend lesbian things to do, because I do mix it up...but a stroll through the Castro is something out of towners like to do. Might stop in for a film if there is something of interest playing at Castro Theater.
I like to take my visiting friends on a boat tour of the bay. The sights of the city are majestic from the water with the Bay and Golden Gate bridges framing the city. There is a ferry that visits Alcatraz and Angel islands, but you can easily find a good tour that will just show you around the bay. Yelp is a good source for finding the right kind of tour that suits your preferences.
Dolores Park is under construction so it may not be a good destination, but the area cafes are a good lunch spot. You can ride a street car from one end of Market to the other. Be sure to check out 511.org to plan your transit if you want to ride a street car, a cable car, the BART to check out regional attractions like Golden Gate National Recreation Area, Muir Woods, etc.
Audey of Oakland, CA (where the fun is)