This was originally posted by catballou on the community forum.
Well, here we go. I just wonder if we can keep it short. So many of our stories get better with the details, don't they? Have you ever noticed that in a relationship, there seems to be one that is more into writing? I may be writing (Canda), but Michele is the angel at my left shoulder...just in case something needs correcting.
We start with me having finished one 5 year relationship and just winding down on an 11 year one (we weren't Lesbian, of course). I even threw in a marriage (to a man) just for kicks, but terminated that when he went back home to Sweden and didn't return to the states (Thank goodness). As for Michele, she was busy with 4 children and had been divorced from their father for 12 years. Her therapist even had her going to the mall to "watch men". (She also wasn't gay but told the thereapist there weren't any she saw that she liked!)
We were thrown together when we were attending the same meetings, and we had a mutual friend who was sick and in the hospital. I had asked Michele if she wanted to go to the hospital to visit our friend several times. It helped that it was in the next town and involved an hour drive....EACH WAY!
There were definitely fireworks going off for both of us, but since we weren't Lesbian it was rather mysterious. We met, at the strangest places, like parks, my time share etc. mostly just to talk! Michele was the deep thinker; I was the "let's run with it" type. So, while I was always attempting to make contact, she was sneaking home to journal and work through the feelings. What was so amazing to us was that we were being bombarded everywhere with SIGNS that we were supposed to be moving in the direction we were being pulled: together.As an example: poetry, songs on the radio, programs on the TV, sermons, even visions (mostly from the deep thinker!).
SO, things continued to "heat up", but Michele was not wanting to pursue the physical until we were appropriately commissioned. Since we weren't Lesbian and knew nothing about Lesbians, she devised a private marriage ceremony (we didn't know other people actually did this). It was the most romantic night I can ever recall; 250% (or more) better than my marriage and definitely better than Michele's. (I believe at their fist anniversary she told HIM that was the worst year of her life. I'm not sure the next 12 were much better; except for the great kids).
We had candles, holy water, vows, special dinner (home cooked), no phone calls, and we actually hid out for the entire weekend (not easy with 4 kids). We even had to return a CD to Blockbusters where her son worked, and had to dress incognito with cowboy hats and sun glasses! One night we had actually told the older kids that we couldn't make it back home because the bridge was iced over...can you believe that....in Texas! LOL.
Our ceremony was in January 1991; we had met in 1990. The next 11 months were a whirlwind. We still weren't out to our family or to ourselves. We were still being bombarded by information...running into others of our same persuasion. We even went to a conference together and ended up in a cabin with several Lesbians. One of them was really friendly and talked to us a lot. By November, we were Lesbians and had a Holy Union. We found out that we weren't the only ones either. Sometimes we still go to the hang-out on the strip in Dallas just to "get our Lesbian fix." WOW! The Olivia cruise should do us for some time!
Since 1991, we've had to deal with ups and downs like everyone else who experiences LIFE. We've come through with an even stronger relationship; one built on trust, honesty, and sharing. In spite of illness (multiple surgeries), family problems, moves, death in the family, etc. we're (what can I say) IN LOVE.
Well, I can't say that was short, but believe it our not, we did leave out some details! Ya'll take care; we'll be looking for more stories!!!
Canda and Michele (still Lesbians and proud of it)