This was originally posted by deja2004 on the community forum.
I've been enjoying all of the different stories on this thread. I agree that Olivia should compile them into a book--they would probably sell out pretty quickly! I finally decided to sit down and write how my partner and I got together. There is a condensed version of this story on "connect", but this is the full version.
About 20 years ago, I was in a three year relationship with a woman who would later become one of my closest friends. You know the type—we made much better friends than lovers. A couple years after we split up, she called me to tell me she was in a relationship with someone new and she wanted me to meet her. As I said before, we were good friends and valued each other’s opinions. So she and her new girlfriend drove the 8-10 hours to get to my house in Virginia. When they pulled in the driveway, my friend was driving. Because of the way she parked, I couldn’t see the person in the passenger seat. My friend got out, ran up to me, and gave me a huge hug. I was still watching her truck because I wanted to see this new woman she was so smitten with. Suddenly, an absolutely stunning woman walked around the back of the truck with the most dazzling smile on her face! I swear, my heart stopped for a moment. I quickly put that thought out of my mind because I would not do something to threaten a friends’ relationship. They stayed for several days and I got to know her new partner, Janet, quite well. All of us would spend hours talking and laughing.
Through the years my friendship with Janet grew. We became best friends. Over the years, we were there for each other. When she was in graduate school in one state and her partner in school in another state, she would often call me to tell me about the things she learned because her partner was seldom around and didn’t seem interested. She was the one who let me cry on her shoulder when my baby brother died. We babysat each other’s cats when the other had to go out of town. We would sit out by the pool for hours, talking and laughing.
We lost touch with each other for a few years when I moved out of the country. Shortly after my return to the States, I realized one day that it was Janet’s girlfriends’ birthday. We had been out of touch for quite some time, so I had to search the internet to find her phone number. She answered the phone, I wished her a happy birthday, and right after she said “Thank you”, she followed it with “Janet and I broke up”. I was stunned. They had spent the better part of 13 years together and even though those of us who were closest to them could see how miserable they were together, we thought they would stay together forever out of sheer stubbornness.
I called Janet right away, and we spent HOURS on the phone. Almost every day for the next few months, we would talk. I had recently become single and it was wonderful to talk to my “long-lost friend” about everything that had happened over the years we had lost touch. She was at a low point in her life. She had been through a very traumatic and tragic event, she was single for the first time in a long time, she hated her job, and she was just really down on life. I finally had enough of her whining over the phone (this was very out of character for her) so I told her to straighten up the house—I was on my way from CA to Houston to visit her. At first, she tried to argue with me and tell me not to visit. Then she went on about how she didn’t feel like anyone could ever love her again and a whole bunch of that crap, when OUT OF THE BLUE, I suddenly heard the words “No, Janet, I’ve always been in love with you” come out of MY mouth. I have no idea where this came from—I had NEVER consciously uttered these words. I don’t think I had ever even THOUGHT these words! There was dead-silence on the other end of the phone. I almost hoped her cordless phone had died and she missed that last statement. After what seemed a lifetime of my heart pounding in my ears, I heard a very soft “What?” on the other end. During the remainder of that conversation, she confessed that she had also had feelings for me for a very long time—since we had first met. But both of us were in committed relationships and would not even entertain the thought of crossing that line. In the end, I finally convinced her that I needed to visit her.
When I arrived at the airport, I couldn’t wait to see her. I was so nervous! Sweaty palms, dry mouth, inability to formulate multi-syllable words…You know…REALLY nervous! Turns out she was just as nervous about seeing me again—she was very self-conscious of the scars from that previously mentioned traumatic event. I mentioned before that Janet was stunningly beautiful. Time and scars, no matter how traumatic, could ever change that. When I saw her again, I melted. We've been basically inseparable for the last...almost three years now. The chance for the greatest love of our lives finally had the opportunity to blossom.
A very wise person recently said to me, "I've learned that the secret to a life-long relationship is to be in love with each other all the time--even when you don't like each other". That wise person was my partner, Janet, giving her observations on her parents’ 56-year marriage—and they are STILL very much in love with each other.
I am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with Janet!