This was originally posted by brewmax on the community forum.
I was a 34 yr. old corporate executive, dressed in $600 suits and $200 Bruno Magli heels, driving a sporty red car, making a nice 6-figure income, traveling with a virtually limitless expense account and living large in the Washington, D.C. area. Life was good by day, but I was lonely when late nights and weekends rolled around. After dating what seemed like a series of very nice women who turned out to actually be more like one pyscho after another, I'd given up, and begun to fill my nights and weekends with work, too. My career was on fire! The flame of my love life was only a flicker and seemed nearly extingushed.
Good friends, good music, good food, good scenery and good books made life enjoyable and I had grown content with being alone, after plenty of time to get to know myself well. I was not sad or forlorned or unhappy. I had no hobbies, but worked all the time, was successful at it and really thought I was happy.
Friends don't let friends remain alone though. Everybody was always trying to fix me up with someone they knew. And it was always excruciatingly painful to endure these endless dinners or outings where nothing clicked. It was the coldest winter I could remember, in 1989, and friends wanted to introduce me to yet another woman. I said "okay, but we have to get a large group together because I don't want to spend another evening having to be polite for hours to someone I don't really enjoy. If we don't click, we'll both have others to talk to during the rest of the evening."
Fourteen women gathered for brunch at the Dakota in D.C. that Sunday morning. I brought my "posse" (as they seem to call them today!) and Joyce brought Mary. She had me at "hello". The moment I heard that southern Tidewater accent, got a hint of that "I am who I am" attitude, and saw that devilish smile, I was hooked. They say that "love at first sight" is really a myth, but I am here to testify that it can happen.
The next two years became an endless pursuit. I showered her with cards and flowers, offered home-cooked gourmet meals, fireplaces, wine, bubble baths, back massages and more. One of the things that I most admired and that drew me to her was her unwavering commitment - to her "ex". They'd split after 10 years, you see, just before that brunch. And when her "ex" would call several times in the months ahead and say "I'm sorry, come home, let's work this out", Mary would come to me and say "when I marry, I marry for life - I simply HAVE to go back and try to work this out".
Friends called me a fool, but I always replied with "I'll be here when you get back". Mary would look at me quizzically and say "as much as I'm growing to love you, I'm not coming back" and tell me that I needed to move on and live my life - that there were so many women who would be so lucky to have me.
Obviously, she came back, time and again. Finally, two years after we met, we made a home together. Since that time, we've been an incredible team, Mary's survived cancer despite being given only a 30% chance to live, we've grown closer than I could have possibly imagined, and I no longer have a big job, big income or fancy car, but I fish and golf and am living the most amazingly wonderful life with the most amazing woman on the face of the earth (ok, my opinion!) and I'm happier than I ever imagined possible.
P.S. Joyce turned out to become one of my dearest friends (some of you met her on the W. Carribean Cruise - and she'll join us in Jan. 2007 on the E. Carribean Cruise, too!) and Mary's "ex" eventually became a good friend and someone I also love who comes to stay and visit with us at least 2-3 times a year.