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This post has been deleted by the author

Hi,

Well, I am recently single and it was very difficult for me as I have been coupled most of my adult life.  I have been reading a lot about forgiveness and dealing with loss.  I have been involved with a couple of lesbian Euchre groups and we are starting a Pinocle (sp) group at the end of March.  These are fun groups and I have met a lot of women (abount 40 whom I had never even seen out and about before).  Most of them are in relationships, but it has helped me tremendously to take that first step to meet new people.  It gives you the courage to do more.  I have been on two Olivia cruises as part of a couple.  I love to travel, so have been sending messages to women my age to talk about the nuances of traveling solo.  It kind of scares me a little, but not enough to stop my query.  I do not want to spend my vacation time always at home.  Thanks for listening.

I do agree. As I said, I do not want to meet anyone in the bar - although I have to admit that from time to time it is nice to get out and "shake a tail feather". I have also found the internet scene to be a bit misleading from time to time. I would like to meet someone who shares my interests but is different enough to teach me something new along the journey. I think that you have to spend time, and lots of it, to get to know someone well. Someone who is a great conversationalist is a great plus to me. I am a talker....

Tru - i'm glad to hear you aren't sitting around waiting for love to appear.  anything u can do to make you and your life better is THE BEST way to naturally attract love into your life, so, keep on doing what you are doing.

While you are working on you and keeping the faith, it might also help for you to tell everyone you know that you are looking to meet other single women, that you are single, etc.  Sometimes the best way to meet a soulmate is thru others we know, not thru bars, the internet, etc.

what do u think?

hey maureen - thanks for sharing!  the first thoughts that popped into my ol' brain when u said it's hard to meet folks because your job has you traveling were...

• do you have time to check out the 'sights' (lesbian, of course!) in the cities you travel to?
• when you are home, how do you go about meeting lesbians in your area?

hope this helps.....pls write soon!

Babz,

You hit the nail on the head when you said that there aren't that many of us and that we are not visible. I am 37 years old and I do NOT want to meet someone in a bar. Most of my friends are paired up and I have been in the same community and out since I was 17. Top that off with living in the midwest and not alot of opportunities exist. It may take a long while but I am waiting for the right one to come along. In the meantime I am working on me - physically and emotionally. I will have to keep the faith that "she" will appear when the time is right....

Hi Babz, My biggest challenge has to be my job. I am  a client rep. It keeps me on the road. I have been on the road for so long now I have no place I can call home. So one thing I can be sure of is being on the road is very lonely. I love to travel and wind up bringing someone from my family. I put forth a strong effort last year to cut back on work to concentrate on me. Lets just say it wasn't very productive. I signed on with Olivia to meet people who travel so I can spend time with other lesbians. 

Thanks for posting ladyj and for sharing your biggest challenge, which is certainly one i hear alot!  it IS a challenge finding LASTING LOVE in our community, given that...

• there are truly LESS of us (5% or so of the female population);
• 70% or so of lesbian women are already in a relationship;
• most of us aren't so visible - i mean we don't walk around with lavender 'L's' on our shirts or foreheads;
• some of us are, what i call, 'actively hiding'.

Also i do find in our community enough inexperience when it comes to committed love.  That's because many of us have never had the support our straight sisters enjoy in creating committed love in our lives.

However, before you go and think I'm saying it's hopeless, just trust me when i say it's not.  afterall, never before have lesbians had so many ways and opportunities to connect (online, in their local communities, at work etc.).  Never before is the world so open and accepting.

So, you CAN take advantage of these opportunities.  More than ever, you DON'T have to settle (do the U-Haul thing).  And you can learn how to create the committed relationship you desire.  However, the results you seek won't just 'fall into your lap'.  You must be the change you wish to see!

When it comes to creating the relationship you desire, where do you begin?  Ask yourself...

• how well am I doing at taking care of me - mentally, physically, etc.? 
• Am I truly 'ready' to meet my soulmate? 
• Wouldn't it be a shame if she walked into my life right now and I wasn't 'ready'?  hmmm, interesting thought, no?

If you want to know more about this 'readiness' thing, let me know.

be well,

babz

My biggest challenge is finding someone around my age (50) who enjoyed taking care of them self , physically, spiritully, mentally.  Someone who has their own life and don't want to do the U_HAUL Move.

Hello!  And welcome to SINGLE LESBIANS!  How do you like the new Olivia community?  I don't know about you but I am impressed.  I created SINGLE LESBIANS for personal and professional reasons.  First off, I'm single and secondly, I am a relationship coach who is an expert in helping lesbian singles.  I love what I do and really want to help single women reach their goals.

I hope you'll join in and get the discussion going here.  I thought a great place to start would be to ask you to respond to the following question:

what's your biggest challenge as a single lesbian?

I look forward to talking with you!

Babz