Glaad, on its web page, warns of the perils of marriage for bi-national gay couples.  Regardless of State laws which now allow marriages, gay couples will be at risk for deportation if they marry and the immigrant spouse is out of legal status, or if they marry and try and obtain one of the visas that specifically prerequisites that the foreigner has no intention of living permanently in the USA.

Thanks to DOMA,  the Federal law will not recognize the marriage of a gay couple and hence the immigration family petition right afforded heterosexual couples is a significant right denied to 40,000 gay families in the USA. 

The general view of all the GLBT organizations is that we should keep things hush, not making a noise about this insidious anomaly in the state of gay life, until such time as gay marriage is widely accepted and then having accomplished the latter, immigration should work its way through that open door. These same organizations encourage bi-national couples to tell their stories, often displaying a few, somewhat ineffectually on their respective sites. In the next breath they mention that the community should do all to support and promote the Uniting American Families Act (UAFA) [formerly the Permanent Partners Immigration Act (PPIA). 

It is my sincere belief that many couples in our community who enjoy US citizenship have never heard of the UAFA.  I see very little, if anything, done to promote this even within the safe boundaries of our own communities. There is minimal and no effective outreach by safe couples to those of us facing the deportation of our spouses and even our American citizen babies and children. In fact the LAMBDA site has not yet updated their site to reflect UAFA, as it stills refers to the now defunct PPIA.)  Furthermore, I see very little by way of outreach to get UAFA moving.

Am I supposed to stand by quietly waiting for barely promoted legislation and ineffective advocacy while I kiss my wife and child goodbye at the deportation center?   I cannot leave with them for many reasons which I cannot explain here; I will not allow my beloved wife to leave without her birth child, albeit our child, a US born citizen, who has rights to both parents and to stay in the USA.  So while we are asked to remain in the background am I going to miss my daughter’s childhood and just sit back? Am I going to sit back and watch the separation of sisters?  I don’t know any ‘wrong that was righted’ by sitting back and pretending nothing was going on. 

What can you do? At the very least I urge you all, the lucky and safe families to speak up for all of those who are told to remain anonymous and asked to be quiet waiting for marriage or the death of DOMA, to learn more about the plight of the bi-nationals in your community, to reach out, offer green card related employment, help with other Visas where possible, and whether or not you are able to provide direct assistance, please at least call and write your representatives in congress, wherever you are, especially if you are in States that do not wear gay rights on their sleeves, BUG them to support and push the UAFA; call and write your advocacy groups and tell them to wake up!  The more support by US citizens the more likely another victory for gay rights.