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I am in a committed lesbian relationship with children from a previous marriage. The issues of child custody, visitation and support are a given whenever children are involved in a relationship. However, a heterosexual marriage is afforded many rights automatically upon union whereas a same-sex relationship has limited to zero rights in many parts of the world. Whenever a person enters a committed relationship they are entering a form of partnership. There are certain responsibilities relevant to the relationship that each party is expected to maintain. The government sometimes has laws and/or programs in place to provide aid and support to those people who might need it if they are experiencing problems with their relationship/partnership. The concerns of the gay and lesbian community are not included in many government systems, and in some parts of the world homosexuality is frowned upon and sometimes illegal, which means zero rights and support for the gay men and lesbian women in committed relationships.

I am fortunate enough to live in an area of the world that offers access to aid and support for the needs of my relationship/partnership concerns.

I have to say that Estate Planning is a must for any family with children, and any persons in a committed relationship. Now when I say committed I mean committed! I don’t mean the girl that you U-hauled with last week, or the guy you’ve been dating on and off for a month. What I am saying is that if you have a stable and healthy relationship and you want to make it permanent (or at least semi-permanent LOL) then you need to consider Estate Planning.

Gay and Lesbian Estate Planning is a whole new frontier!

The goal in taking this path is to provide some security for your estate in the future; especially during the unforeseen ‘hard times’. If you are raising children together, this should take a priority in your life because you have to provide a secure future for them regardless of whether times are hard or not! You can read more about Estate Planning on Wikipedia where you will find a portal with links to all things related to Estate Planning in general.

Be sure to look into information about:

~passing the greatest amount of estate possible to beneficiaries
~paying the least amount of taxes
~avoiding involvement in probate court
~providing for and designating guardians for minor children
and
~planning for disability or incapacity

There are a few special concerns for Gays and Lesbian when it comes to Estate Planning and planning for retirement:

LGBTI individuals are less likely to have strong family support systems in place to have relatives to care for them during aging. They are twice as likely to enter old age living as a single person; and two and a half times more likely to live alone. Because institutionalized homophobia as well as cultural discrimination and harassment still exist, they are less likely to access health care, housing, or social services or when they do find the experience stressful or demeaning. - Gay and Lesbian Retirement on Wikipedia

There are many resources available to those of you in the LGBT Community when it comes to securing the future of your ‘estate’.

Because the rights of gays and lesbians are limited in most areas, you will have to research what LGBT rights are available to you in your area. As for myself, I am a divorced mom in a long term committed lesbian relationship in the State of California. I have access to Domestic Partnership which we did file to legalize our relationship. We had to go to a notary to sign the paperwork and then take it downtown and file it. It wasn’t a big deal when you look at the process, but we are a legal relationship in the eyes of the State which IS a big deal when you consider others who don’t have this freedom. Our status as Domestic Partners gives us the opportunity to qualify for health benefits for the family through Gina’s job which was a big saving grace on our finances. Some places offer limited marriage rights thru Civil Unions, while others offer full marriage rights thru Same Sex Marriage.

To find out what the rights are available to you in your area visit this site.

Other things to look into if you are a lesbian in a committed relationship:

~Legal Name Change for Matching Last Names

~Power of Attorney for Authorization to Legally Act on Each Other’s Behalf

~Durable or Medical Power of Attorney for Authorization to Make Medical Decisions on Each Other’s Behalf Up Until Death

~Living Will or Advanced Directive to Make Note of Your Wishes upon Incapacity

~Last Will and Testament to Make Note of Your Wishes upon Death

~Living Trust to Ensure the Timely Settlement of Your Last Will

~Determining Your Financial Beneficiaries and Naming Them as Such on Your Bank Accounts, Retirement Fund or Pension, Life Insurance. (and anything else that pays a death benefit.)If you are fortunate enough to live in a country that offers Social Security Rights for the Gay Community then you should be sure to list your partner as a ‘permanent partner’ with the Social Security Department.

Plus you might venture into:

~Adopting a Child Together or Second Parent Adoption

One of the sponsors of this blog is Legal Zoom, because I personally use them for my legal needs.

This is not a lawyer service, but a legal preperation service. If you do not have the money to hire a lawyer and want to take the do-it-yourself route, then you should look into Legal Zoom. I'll give you an example of why you would want to do this. When I had my last name changed to match Gina's last name, I looked for info online and ended at Legal Zoom.

I ordered their Name Change package for $139 and what I got for that was:

~all the forms I needed
~precise instructions on how to fill out the forms
~the exact directions to follow to process my name change
~directions to the nearest court house and all the phone numbers I would need for filing fees, fee waivers, newspaper announcements, etc.
and
~complete information on what to do after my name change was complete such as for changing my passport and social security card, drivers license and more

There are also self-help resource centers in most court houses that can not give you 'advice' but can give you 'information'. They can review your forms with you and tell you what you need to do if you are not sure.

I recommend any time you have legal stuff to handle that you and your partner block some time out and make a day of it.

Prepare to get in line early, grab lunch together, bring a newspaper to read - whatever it is you do but it will take you lots of time to handle these things if you do it on your own - and bring your checkbook. If you have the finances for an attorney, make sure that it's a good one and save yourself the hassle by hiring them! If not, it can be frustrating to know that you are standing in line for 2 hours to change your name because you are gay. If you have to take the self-help approach to Gay and Lesbian Estate Planning, I say Legal Zoom and the Self Help Resource Center at the courthouse are huge resources for you!

Here are some other resources for you that you can take a look at online as well:

Why Gays and Lesbians Need Estate Planning
Article: Estate Planning for Gay Couples
Article: Estate Planning for Gay and Lesbian Couples
Estate Planning on Rainbow Law.com
Estate Planning for Gay and Lesbian Couples on Self Growth.com
Same Sex Estate Planning from LA Tax Lawyer.net
Domestic Partner Health Insurance 101
Estate Planning for Gay and Lesbian Couples Who have NOt Entered Into a Civil Union or Registered as Domestic Partners
GayLaw.org

Plus here are some books that I found on Amazon that might help you in your journeys:

A Legal Guide for Lesbian & Gay Couples
Estate Planning for Same-Sex Couples
Estate Planning for Domestic Partners
Valued Families: the Lesbian Mothers' Legal Handbook
Every Trick in the Book: The Essential Gay and Lesbian Legal Guide
and
Everyday Law for Gays and Lesbians: and Those Who Care about Them

Thank you very much for reading this article.

Securing your family's future is important whether you are gay or straight. Feel free to comment this post with any other ideas you might have for Estate Planning for the gay family. Plus you can always visit the discussion group for this blog on Yahoo! to discuss this article and connect with other readers. Thank you for visiting and please come back again soon. Take care and Much love!

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more and view her photos by visiting her page on MySpace.