Olivia Lesbian Travel: Lesbian Cruises, Lesbian Resorts and Lesbian Vacations

Is That a Super-PAC?

KateClinton — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 20:20:00 GMT

Used to be if you were a comic one of the guaran-dam-teed high-larious things you could do was run for president. Pat Paulsen, Lily Tomlin of the “Stop It Party” and Ron Paul have all done it.

Now, thanks to Stephen Colbert, you can’t just run for president. No, now you have to have your own money- belching anonymous Super PAC. And me? I’m still trying to figure how to get my Kindle Fire books out of the goddam cloud. Sidebar: never fire up your Kindle Fire lying in bed. It’s like an over the bed porn mirror, not that I know anything about that, the point being, just don’t.

But after doing the math on;

Mitt Romney’s How Dare That Black Man Be President PAC;

Rick Sanscrotum’s No Man on Dog Sex PAC;

Jon Huntsman’s It’s My Daddy’s Money PAC;

Chuckie Gingrich’s I’ve Changed With Callista PAC;

Rick Perry’s I Walk Like This Because of My Penis PAC,

I have decided to join them.

I like Sarah Palin’s business plan: take the money and don’t run.

As always, the big challenge is coming up with a PAC name. Here’s what my crack team of consultants has come up with:

Embrace Your Extinction PAC;

Just Send Money to Tammy Baldwin PAC;

America, We Won’t Be Your Wedge Issue This Time PAC;

What is Your Damn Problem With Gay Marriage PAC.

My crack team, emphasis on the crack, doesn’t get the brevity soul of wit thing.

So I’ve decided to crowd-source, as the kids call it. What shall I call my PAC?

Debt Schmedt

KateClinton — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 17:11:00 GMT

One Saturday afternoon when I was maybe five or six, my Dad was reading the paper and I was watching some grim Dickens-ish movie on little our black and white GE console. A tattered, beaten down family was sent to a huge dark, foreboding end-of-the-line-for-you Debtors Prison. Under the big white wig, the judge who sent them resembled Newt Gingrich. It was an ineffably sad story.

As the credits rolled, I asked my Dad, “But how will they make money in prison? If they can’t work, how will they ever pay their debts?” My Dad looked over his paper at me. Not like I was some junior Josephine Stiglitz. I don’t think he said anything. I got what I think was a “you got that right” nod.

This Trumped-up maniacal, medieval drive to reduce deficits by enacting pound-of-flesh, down-to-the-bone austerity measures is creating a worldwide open-air Debtor’s Prison. It is shameful and it is the poor who are shamed. The age old pre-occupation of punishing the poor for the extra vagrancies of the wealthy is ineffably sad and infuriating. I can’t read Paul Krugman if there are sharp knives present.

The cruel collective debt guilt trip is so chickenshit. If I were in charge I would act boldly. I would declare the collective hunch of the debt crisis over, print more money right now and double down my bets on education, invention, infrastructure, healthcare and peace. Jobs would come.

Basta, no mas, enough! And viva Elizabeth Warren!

Et Cum Spirit Two Two Oh

KateClinton — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 17:10:00 GMT

Last Saturday night, the smell of overheating lamination machines wafted from Catholic Church basements in the US, Canada, UK and India. The next morning, parishioners lucky enough to attend churches not downsized by pedophilia payouts, consulted freshly plasticized pew cards for the new wording of their Mass.

Rome had ordered up the change in a move some (me) interpreted as intentionally distracting from larger scandals. Instead of the familiar version of the 1973 Missal, the Clothmen had mandated language that carefully followed every word of the original Latin text and syntax. Earlier translations had been guided by a more flexible, accessible “dynamic equivalence”. Rome heard “sin tax” and errant dangling modifiers.

The Catholic Church had last rebooted in the 1970s after Vatican II. Priests known only by the backs of their heads, shadowed faces or felonies turned around and faced the people. They spoke in English, though sermons in my church, Our Lady of Psychological Warfare, sounded as if they had been translated directly from the Latin with the end of sentences saved for all the verbs. And the whole rite was set to a hootenanny guitar beat. When I finally understood what was being said, like many others, I left.

I have been lapsed a while and some claim my right to complain has expired. But I am still a recovering Catholic. I still see and feel the deleterious effects on LGBT people of the Church’s virulently unchristian preaching about the abomination of homosexuality. I feel quite comfortable giving some feedback.

So CC, you go to all that trouble to change the response from “and also with you,” to “and with your spirit.” That is so last synod. Why not go right back to the original famous Latin area code, “Et cum spirit 2-2-0”? Omnius obsoletus est novus again.

CC, I predict you are going to have problems with the communion “entering under my roof.” Before the post-Vatican II practice of plopping the host in cupped hand, like it was a Bugle snack, First Communicants lived in terror of getting the host stuck to the roof of their mouths. I am eternally grateful to Mother Church for the cunning lingual moves I learned to unstick the host, but the roof reference might trigger impure thoughts for many of my generation.

Kudos on the re-introduction of “consubstantial”! Take it from a former high school English teacher: Catholic kids just jumped three points on their language SATS! Now they can stop turning around home statuary on SAT Saturday mornings or praying to Great St. Joseph of Cupertino, patron saint of exam-taking.

The Credo change from the more communal “We believe in one God,” to the more individual, “I believe in one God,” is chilling. I am well aware we die alone, but before that, in this hyper-capitalized, secularized, atomized mean old world, it is heavenly to have a community of believers in the day-to-day.

Though I quibble, I have taken some collateral inspiration from the recent reforms. Early in my career I spoke in a radical lesbian-feminist language that was baffling to a larger audience. Then I began to use a more flexible, dynamic language accessible to a straighter audience. They got lazy. My LGBT audience drifted. I was too accessible.

Thanks to you, CC, I have been trying a thicker lesbian accent and making my audiences work a bit harder to get what I’m talking about. I might throw in a little Latin now too. Nullum means nullum. Facio amor non bellum. Occupius Murus Streetus. Occupius tuus ecclesia.

Who's Sorry Now?

KateClinton — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 21:13:00 GMT

When some guesthouses in our little resort town have no room left at the inn, instead of hanging a tasteful “No Vacancy” sign, they hang a “Sorry” sign. Sometimes the ‘sorry’ is in quotation marks.

Are they not really sorry? Are they being ironic? What is the translation for this hospitality term of art? “Sorry you thought you were going to step off the ferry, roll your dear little bag up to our door and get a room.” “Sorry you thought we would be keeping the light on for you” “Yeah right – you with your three night stay and parking needs.”

Perhaps I’m a little sensitive since being downgraded. And they can say ‘downgraded’ all they want but personally I feel degraded like some shoddy product. That S&P thing was like one big ‘he’s-just-not-that-into-you.’ And just when I thought I was done with shame.

We’re in a sorry state of affairs. There’s a big embossed ‘sorry’ sign hung out over the Congressional Inn. It’s in quotes. “Sorry you thought we were going to do anything about the environment, education, the poor, healthcare.” “Sorry you thought we weren’t in it for the money and power.” “Sorry you thought those Boehner tears were real.”

Now we who naively hoped that our country was on a different path two years ago, could just bow our heads and hang a ‘sorry’ sign off our neck and get back to Jersey Shore reruns. Or we could circle George Bush’s Crawford/Dallas spreads and demand he stand trial for war crimes. We could march on Bank of America. We could volunteer at a Planned Parenthood Clinic. We could work for the re-election of those NY Senators who stood for marriage equality, or the re-election of President Obama, even when he’s being too sorry.

All over the world, people are rising up, risking their lives, fighting back. What’s your plan to give the right-wing Christo-fascists something to cry about? What’s your plan to kick some sorry ***? Let’s make them sorry they were ever re-born.

New York State of Mind - Rights not Rites

KateClinton — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 18:13:00 GMT

Congratulations to all who worked so hard and so long to bring Marriage Equality to the empiric state: those who stood vigil in Albany, those who lobbied the halls, those who changed their minds, those who wrote checks, those on whose shoulders this victory stands. I’m still in a NY pinch-me state of shock.

First, the vote feels like partial redemption from New York’s embarrassing Weinergate. That story didn’t really rate a “-gate” coverage, but photos of Viagra-enhanced penises are much easier to, uh, grasp than the fine points of power shifts in the Mideast or debt ceiling debates.

That Weiner saga was a dizzying gay-straight reversal. It was such an old-school gay story - salacious details about penile practices, ab shots, video entrapment, tearful denials – and yet it was about a straight guy. Meantime the LGBT people were fully clothed, lobbying, and strategizing for the legitimate right to marry, just like straight people.

A special shout-out to NY’s Governor Andrew Cuomo for his disciplined leadership. Amazing what justice can be accomplished when a leader leads. Of course it is sad that that leadership should be so remarkable. See: “the president is evolving”.

The turning point in the debate came when a pro forma religious exemption was included in the bill. Anti-gay churches had wanted a guarantee that they could not be forced to host gay marriages in their churches or halls. What a pleasant wedding. Everyone standing around glowering at each other. “I’ll give them wine, but it won’t be the good stuff.”

The surprisingly tepid resistance of the NY Archdiocese was not because the Revs. Dolan or Diaz had better things to do. It is because the Catholic Church does not have a moral leg to stand on. And when some in the church chastised Gov. Cuomo for living in sin with his girlfriend - he can’t remarry because he’s divorced – I think it put some vendetta in the Venn diagrams of voting districts.

In all the follow-up stories, one thing is clear. The most successful strategy for achieving full LGBT justice is still coming out of the closet. In story after story, it was an enraged gay brother, a challenging lesbian daughter, uncles, aunts, neighbors, co-workers, co-state-Senators who were visible and vocal. They changed hearts and minds and finally votes.

And come July, the New York Times is going to have to ad some pages to the Vows section for gay wedding coverage.

The Patriarchy Is So Dada

KateClinton — Thu, 26 May 2011 19:46:00 GMT

Dominique Strauss-Kahn, he of the Madoff mane, alleged rapist and head of the International Monetary Fund – talk about branding! - is not too big to jail. Tant pis.

Wait, wait, there’s more.

Arnold reveals he fathered a child ten years ago with a member of his household staff. Charlie Sheen is devastated to be replaced by Ashton Kutcher. Aww.

ABC of course picked up Tim Allen’s sitcom “Last Man Standing” about how hard it is to be a man [the straight and white is understood] in this crazy modern world.

Men are feeling vulnerable and assaulted. Which is generally when they like to invade the wrong country, just cause. What do they always tell us this is? Ah, yes, a “growth opportunity”.

If it weren’t for all the women who have been trampled, I could enjoy this more. But the schaden is off my freude.

Thirty years ago, I was a young radical lesbian feminist separatist quite fevered about taking down the patriarchy. I’m still on it. Who knew the guys would be such a big help?

Family Time by COLAGE

JuliePhineas — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 01:00:00 GMT

Media artist Jen Gilomen collaborated with COLAGE to create Family Time, a short film and participatory multimedia exhibit tracing two decades of evolution in the concept of family as experienced by people with one or more Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and/or Queer (LGBTQ) parents. Their interwoven stories reflect social changes through personal experiences with the political, legal, and social elements that most mark the LGBTQ movement. Learn more at http://colage.org/familytime.

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her by visiting her website at www.juliephineas.com.

The Tooth Fairy is A Lesbian

JuliePhineas — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 07:01:00 GMT

I just realized that each time my children lose a tooth and we "give the Tooth Fairy a call", we're dialing a rainbow phone number!

My wife and I have been playing Tooth Fairy for years, telling the tale of her to our kids and sharing the excitement of finding money under the pillow in the morning if you leave a tooth. Of course I realized soon after we began this adventure that my kids were now learning how to sell their body parts for money, as my daughter loudly wondered if she could sell other things like her hair or fingernails from under her pillow and my son expected like 20 bucks for each molar and had a look of disappointment when he would find anything less than a five.

So I kind of backtracked with the whole charade a few years ago and told my kids the truth...

The lady who leaves you the money is me, and when your mama dials the phone to call the fairy to get your tooth she's really calling on your lesbian mom to stay up late and make sure the money gets there!

There were a couple of times I've messed up because I forgot to make the switch or they've woken up while my hand was under their pillow so when I confessed that I was the Tooth Fairy, to them it all made sense.

This week both kids lost a tooth and I kept the tradition alive by saying "Ooooh, now we get to call the Tooth Fairy!"and I gave them the innocent look they use when they tell me and my wife their tall tales.

Old enough now, and knowing the truth, they got a little gleam in their eye and know I'll be sneaking in during the night with money in hand to take their tooth for my keepsake collection.

Ultimately, I'm glad I told them the truth (even though the other adults around me gave me looks like I was a dream killer!) and in the end I'm happy with being honest to my kids. They seem more grateful now no matter how much money they find under the pillow just knowing that we've taken the time and effort to make sure they know and feel that they are special.

That being said you know that my family will be keeping the Tooth Fairy tradition alive, and don't forget - in my house she has rainbow wings.

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives with her wife in Southern California. You can find out more about her by visiting her website at www.juliephineas.com.

Lesbian Mom Movie Enjoys "High-Grossing Debut"

JuliePhineas — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 20:51:00 GMT

"The Kids Are Alright" is a movie about the children of a lesbian couple and the search for their sperm donor.

This movie was released in select theaters on July 9th and will be released on a wider scale July 16th. The limited release of this movie has already reached a "high-grossing debut" according to the L.A. Times Blog, and received 5 out of 5 stars from many critics while stamped "Oscar Buzz" in the July 19 issue of People Magazine.

This movie stars Annette Bening and Julianne Moore as lesbian moms, plus Mark Ruffalo featured as their sperm donor.

Their daughter is played by Mia Wasikowska, the Australian actress who starred as Alice in the recently released movie "Alice in Wonderland"; and their son is played by Josh Hutcherson; an American actor you might remember from movies like "Zathura" and "Bridge to Terabithia". This movie is brought to us by Focus Features and was acquired by them during the Sundance Film Festival. "The Kids Are Alright" opened at only seven theatres in the U.S. and Canada with the most popular theatre being ArcLight Cinemas in Hollywood, California. The movie will release to 37 more theaters on July 16, 2010.

Here is a behind the scenes video with a more in depth look at the movie, cast, and crew

You can find the movie playing at a theater near you on the Focus Features main site here.

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her by visiting her website at www.juliephineas.com.

Prop. 8 Day of Decision

JuliePhineas — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 06:09:00 GMT

Mark Solomon of Equality California is calling for all supporters of same-sex marriage in and near the state of California to come together for the Prop. 8 Day of Decision which is expected to be handed down soon. ECQA is searching for same-sex couples and their families to participate in gatherings across the state the day the California Supreme Court makes a decision on the repeal of Proposition 8, the proposition which places a ban on same-sex marriage in California.

You can find out where your nearest gathering location is and more information on how you can participate by visiting www.equalrightsfoundation.org.

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her by visiting her website at www.juliephineas.com.

A Lesbian Network Is Born

JuliePhineas — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 05:09:00 GMT

In 2008 I married the love of my life and then had our rights taken away.

When that happened I went into activist mode and made a vow to do what I could to make a difference in the fight for equality. I dedicated my time into using my skills for the good of the LGBT community and can now share with the world what it is that I've done.

Gay Girls Network is my contribution to the world and is now available to lesbians everywhere for entertainment and information vital to our community!

You can find over thirty topic sites for gay girls online and will have fun navigating the network looking for information on your favorite topics like food, family, and sports. This network is brought to you in association with Gay Girls Global Village (or 3GV) and is a production of JuliePhineas.com.

Through a cancer scare, family therapy, and other dramatic life changing events we managed to pull through to bring to life this network regardless of the obstacles we faced and can finally share it with you.

This is the official birthday of Gay Girls Network, July 4, 2010 - so Happy Birthday to my network and congratulations to all the lesbians in the world on our new baby!!!

You can find more information and visit the network by visiting www.GayGirlsNetwork.com.

You'll still find me at my regular posting places, but I wanted to let you know about this new network and invite you to visit and celebrate with me. Thank you for taking the time to read this message and I hope you have a fabulous day!

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her by visiting her website at www.juliephineas.com.

WTF?

KateClinton — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 00:59:00 GMT

To quote VP Joe Biden, “This is a big f**in deal.” Lovable old Hairplugs Joe was of course referring to the successful passage of health insurance reform. I am referring to the shameful, dangerous behavior of the overly televised Teabaggers.

Stupid does as stupid is. In a recent poll, 25% said they believe Pres. Obama is the anti-christ. 40% think he’s a socialist. It’s not clear what percentage of that 40% know what a socialist is. 20% believe Pres. Obama is doing many of the things Hitler did. 38% percent think he wants to take away Americans’ right to own guns. A big percentage thinks he wants to take away their fishing licenses. And the majority of them get their feelings hurt if you call them stupid.

My galpal says do not call them stupid.

“But what if they are?” I ask.

She says it’s not stupidity, it’s class.

I think it’s racism tarted up as class.

Just look at the pictures. Watch CSPAN. The Party of Hell No is the White Party. The Other White Meat. When the Republiban had their Evita moment and held up “Kill the Bill” signs from an outdoor balcony, they goaded their goons on the ground into race-baiting behavior. House members had to walk a racist, homophobic gauntlet to vote on healthcare. After the vote, Representatives received death threats, rocks through their windows, faxed nooses. Sarah Palin, that i.e.d of demagoguery, put a map on her website with bull’s eyes over Representatives who voted for health care reform.

The only response to hate speech is more speech. Once again, silence equals death. Ask, tell, scream, yell. This is a big f**in deal.

We, The Corporation

KateClinton — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 01:57:00 GMT

When the Supremes ruled 5-4 in Citizens United v. The Federal Election Commission - AKA Capitalism v. Democracy - I got that old familiar cement block on sternum feeling of despair that I haven’t had since Bush v. Gore, another vote from our resident terrorist cell #5.

According to the ruling, corporations can spend unlimited funds on political advertising in any political election. Or they can just threaten to. What candidate wants to piss off Citibank by saying, “If you’re too big to fail, you’re not too big to be regulated.”

The Supremest, Chief Umpire John Roberts, who claimed in his confirmation hearing that his job is just to call balls and strikes, threw the entire game, along with judicial restraint and precedent. He must be on the take from someone. Oh right. Corporations.

In one of the biggest insults to personhood ever, the Roberts’ Court ruled that corporations are the same as people and therefore have the right to free speech. The “and those people are mostly straight white males” was understood.

That my darling LGBT community thinks that by the strength of our incredible, obvious logic, we will be able to sway this willfully illogical, camera-shy Supreme Court to see the unconstitutionality of CA’s Prop 8 is poignant.

May they prove me wrong.

Live Large- THINK BIG

KateClinton — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 01:55:00 GMT

That was the slogan of the 22nd Annual National Conference on LGBT Equality in Dallas, Texas. Good thing we weren’t in Rhode Island. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of LGBT organizing happening in RI.

Two thousand activists from all over the world – big shout out to forty activists from the Artistic Revolution Gang from Arkansas – attended the five-day conference, AKA “Creating Change”. The confab sponsored by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force featured practical workshops, day-long skill-building institutes, national organization convenings, award ceremonies, constant conversation, cruising and large plenaries, which I had the pleasure of emceeing.

The first plenary program featured Thomas Saenz, the president and general counsel of the Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund [MALDEF] who outlined how our communities intersect. We all are undocumented, outside the full constitutional guarantees and suffer from a courage deficit from Washington, DC. Next, NGLTF’s executive director, Rea Carey gave the annual state of the movement address: our movement is still strong and quite pissed. Saturday, the writer and editor, Kai Wright moderated a totally inspiring panel of young LGBT leaders who made me feel like I could retire. But why would I? It’s just getting really fun again. Sunday’s closing plenary brunch, traditionally devoted to LGBT arts and activism, featured the House/Ballroom sensation Vogue Evolution, who brought down what was left of the Sheraton.

Conference co-chairs, Russell Roybal and Sue Hyde, closed out the conference and invited everyone to come to Minneapolis, MN next year for the 23rd gathering of the tribe. Slogan suggestion: It’s Cold. We’re Hot.

I tell you all this because the same weekend that 2000 people attended the Creating Change Conference in Dallas to bring the country we love to a more just future, 600 people attended the Teabagger Convention in Nashville to bring the government they hate back to the racist and sexist values of 1773. They wore more drag than Creating Change. We would not do the powdered patriot wigs.

Creating Change did not get as much media coverage as the Teabaggers. I know you are shocked. For more about the conference and NGLTF see www.theTaskForce.org.

Lady Haha Does Missouri

KateClinton — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 01:51:00 GMT

“It’s never like this,” everyone said about the torrential rains for five days in LA. After they proudly announced, “We don’t know how to drive in the rain.” As they were driving. We were on our way to the 60th Birthday of a dear friend, and had looked forward to a few days winter respite in sunny CA. I’m not whining. After the misery in Haiti, there was no room for complaint.

“It’s not the rain but the snow cap in the mountains that really matters.” Since there is no guttering in LA, the torrents laked the streets as it ran off into the Pacific. I thought of a new career: The Rainy Day Driving School. When I left LA the rains followed me to Missouri and I considered hiring myself out to drought-stricken countries. New career: Personal Dowser.

But instead we kicked off the first stop on our Lady HaHa Tour in St. Louis, Missouri. I love HoMos. (Homesexuals in MO, get it? got it? good.) I love St. Louis for its solid citizens, great food, Left Bank Books, great architecture and amazing city parks, especially Forest Park. And those giant nuclear goldfish at the Botanical Garden. The group Promo, an LGBT advocacy group produced a great show, another in my long history of appearances in St. Louis, starting with Connie Lane and Barbara Lau at the Heartbreak Hotel back in the 80s. That’s 1980s. I was in the middle of my show there when the St. Louis Cards game got out next-door and the fans started pouring into the famous local after-game bar. Good-humored confusion reigned. Thank goodness.
On my way to the show, we stopped in at a reception for the Freedom of Choice Council Celebration of the Anniversary of Roe v. Wade at a local winery.

Despite the debate about born gay v. chose gay, it does come down to choice. You can be gay and not chose to come out. So I was honored to meet some of Missouri’s courageous co-pro-choicers and celebrate the front line work they do to keep open the only two clinics left in the state of Missouri. To get into the bar, we had to pass through picket lines of people with fetus fetish placards praying for us. I felt blessed.
At the show the next night in Kansas City, Missouri, produced by the indomitable Linda Wilson with Willow Productions, we were picketed by the Fred Phelps Family. Two for two! Though the crazy little women there all rolled their eyes in boredom, I was excited by the diss. But the Phelps signage was a disappointment, very generic. Outside a theatre full of lesbians and all we got was “God Hates Fags”? Are they saving money on poster paint? Is it the economy? You couldn’t spring for “God H8Ts K8T?” Jeeze. It was not even worth an I-photo for our gorgeous new kateclinton.com. They left after ten minutes.

The next night at the LGBT Center on Halsted in Chicago, my string of picketed shows was broken. Nada. In the gorgeous new Center I did a two and a six o’clock show, which for those of you who follow such things, and you know who you are, exactly coincided with certain two semi-final football games. After a well-attended afternoon Women4Women cocktail reception, catered by Center graduates of a culinary training program in the Center’s own kitchen facility, I did my show and then found a TV and found the NY Jets ahead for a minute. After the six o’clock show, I made it in time to the hotel to see Brett Favrereer throw a fatal interception.

Next stop Dallas, Texas to attend and emcee the annual Creating Change Conference, a raucous caucus of LGBT activists sponsored by The Task Force. Perhaps there will be Teabaggers. Is there not a gay man in the Republican party in Texas who might have cautioned against the phrase ‘teabagger’? I land back in New York at 630p, and might make it home for the last half of the Super Bowl. My galpal is distraught, but I have pre-planned the snacks.

Lesbians Facing Life and Death

JuliePhineas — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 00:24:00 GMT

There is an entire class of lesbians in the world that nobody gives much thought to... lesbians who are facing death.

It's easy to say that we are all dying (whether you are gay, straight, asexual or trans); but that really can't compare to the impending doom of actually knowing how long you have until you're going to die.

If you’ve been a reader of this blog for the past year you might know that I have an illness that affects many lesbians called PCOS. This is something I have had for over a decade now and so I thought it was a routine problem when I started having pain in my abdomen a few months ago. I didn’t even think too much of it when I lost close to 15 pounds in just one week shortly after. I did start to worry however, when I noticed that I had a fever which wasn’t going away.

After a few visits to my doctor, ultrasounds, a CT scan and an MRI, my doctor was telling me I had two tumors in my liver that “looked pretty bad”. By this time 6 weeks had gone by and my pain had begun to spread from my abdomen and through to my back, and I was in bed for a good portion of the day when the pain was too intense. When he told me that the tumors in my liver “looked pretty bad” and “could possibly be liver cancer”, I still held my head up high and I tried not to be too worried. Waiting for the results of my biopsy was hard to do. Doing my research online, I tried to find hopeful information; and knowing that many people have beaten cancer before, I held on to the knowledge that I could too.

Throughout the process I was faced with new experiences and relationships with strangers in an extremely tough time. Every time I took a major test I would have to answer the basic questions and essentially ‘come out’ to every person who took my health insurance information and emergency contact name, and sometimes explain to nurses why I wasn’t taking birth control. Because I was a young 31 years of age, many of the hospital workers who where assigned to me for whatever reason were curious to know about my tumors and basic health situation, which would eventually lead to them asking who the woman was that was with me. It was always a toss up on how they would react when I would respond with “She’s my wife”.

My friends and family had a variety of responses too, and it made the situation that much more real. Because I am a mom my main concern is always my children, and so even though I didn’t want to worry any of my family or friends, I had to let them know what was going on so that they could help me keep an eye out for the kids. Looking into the situation I was facing brought me down to my knees, and so I asked for everyone in my inner circle to pray and meditate on the situation to bring a positive outcome if possible.

The life expectancy of someone who is facing liver cancer is just 3-6 months, and for me, two months had already passed since I began to notice pain. My fever had gone away, my blood work was clear and I was noticing that I could bring my pain down if I didn’t eat very much – so I had hope; but I wasn’t taking any chances and I decided to call the Cancer Treatment Centers of America, which I had seen commercials for on television with many survivors of cancer. I browsed their website for their survivors list which was very long. There were many survivors of breast cancer, and other cancers, but for liver cancer there was just one.

I was truly terrified that this could be it for little ole me! But I was not giving up and prepared myself for a fight.

When I called the Cancer Treatment Centers of America I spoke to a gentleman who was very sympathetic to my situation and who had been cancer free for twenty years. I was very pleased to find out that they would pay the travel expenses for me AND for my wife to fly out to their center for treatments. My sexual orientation was not a factor at all for them and I was very comfortable calling on them for help.

I talked to my family about what would happen if the biopsy showed cancer, and also took a trip to LegalZoom.com to get started on the legal paperwork I had put off for so long. I needed a Power of Attorney for general legal affairs, a Living Will to make known my wishes for resuscitation and donor status, and a Last Will to make known my wishes should I pass away. My wife and I had never talked about things like this before, only jokingly or in passing. But this situation brought us face to face with reality and we had some of the deepest most meaningful conversations we have ever had in these past few months.

During this time I didn’t really have much energy to blog or work on any of my lezsites, but I did find that there are other lesbians out there facing the same situations just by noticing those around me while on my medical travels. Sometimes you can hear patients in the hallway outside your room, or when you are at the front desk at your doctor’s office. Dropping off prescriptions, and filling out forms I bumped into many gay girls along the way.

Ironically, it was a gay girl who gave me my biopsy results and I am truly thankful to her because she handed me the best news of my life… the tumors are NOT cancer! W H E W!!!

It’s hard for me to be speechless but this day I was! The only way that I can explain it, is that I was doing cartwheels on the inside for miles and miles. LOL

My whole network of friends and family were celebrating and excited and happy that we dodged that bullet. I truly feel like I have been given a new lease on life!

After visiting a few more specialists I have been scheduled for an outpatient surgery in a few days and some other procedures in the coming weeks. These things should bring me some pain relief but ultimately knowing that I don’t have to worry about things like chemotherapy is the biggest relief for me right now. At my last appointment my doctor told me that my pains are “not life threatening” and I can enjoy my holidays which is exactly what I intend to do.

Now that I am not facing death, I find that I have to face my life instead!

That’s a whole different experience altogether, and the most important thing that I have found through it all is in surrounding yourself with people who love and support you, and supporting the people that you love as well.

I’ve found myself focused on what is really important in my life, and I hope that sharing this story with you will help you to do the same. Life really is too short, and if you stop and think about it – have you done all that you want to with your life? Have you said all that you need to say? Have you lived out all that you need to live? It’s definitely worth thinking about… and then living!

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her by visiting her website at www.juliephineas.com.

If you are a lesbian facing Cancer, you can find helpful information specifically for lesbians at www.MautnerProject.org.

Not Up In The Air

KateClinton — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 00:04:00 GMT

Just returned from emceeing the 25th Annual Gay & Lesbian Leadership Conference in San Francisco. The opening night reception was held in the gorgeous SF City Hall, with a welcome by the equally gorgeous Mayor Newsom. We toasted to the courage of SF’s Harvey Milk who thirty years ago urged gays out of the closet, into the streets and then into the seats of power.

The next two days featured panels [life not death panels] on the state of the movement, social networking; plenaries on international LGBT work, green economies and a great conversation with WI Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin and CO’s newbie Congressman Jared Polis moderated by the witty Jonathan Capeheart.   Hidden in the bowels of the hotel there was a boot camp training for 40 LGBTs who plan to run for office.   They emerged tired and squinting, but bursting with info and enthusiasm for running a successful campaign.

Of course there was also lots of schmoozing, adult beverages and late night appreciating of SF. I prefer to call it ideation. The Victory Fund is fully committed to getting LGBT leaders elected to office from the local to the national level. It’s nothing I have the stomach for - I fantasize adult behaviors like throwing pink smoke bombs onto the Senate Floor whenever Joe Lieberman speaks. I am glad LGBT people have the guts and cojones for elected office and I was honored to be with them.

My last official duty of 2009 was co-hosting the Out Music Awards, an ambitiously planned evening at Webster Hall in NY, to honor LGBT singers and songwriters. With many live performances, award presentations and acceptance speeches the bad news is that the night did run long. Good news? I finished my on-line holiday shopping, started and finished my greeting cards, gave myself and my co-host a manicure, learned Spanish and prayed that this wasn’t what hell was going to be like.

With the Yes on K8 tour complete, I have grounded myself for a few weeks and plan only to use my Xootr for transportation. I believe in hibernation and plan to use my time wisely. Since I finished most of my tasks at the Ouch Music Awards, I’m free to take naps, watch movies, see friends, read, write and plan for 2010’s Lady HaHa Tour.   It’s going to be a lot of laughs.

Weather Girl

KateClinton — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 18:17:00 GMT

“Purpose of your visit?”

“To visit friends.”

“And you’re only staying one night?”

“It’s for a party.”

“Are you bringing gifts?”

“No.”

As usual I began my trip to Vancouver, feeling like a really bad friend. As we began our descent into the clouds over the beautiful western Canadian city, I was feeling a little feverish, and worried it might be the Swine Flu. But it turns out, it was Olympic Fever. The Winter Games begin in February and there’s a frantic undertone in the usual tranquility of Vancouver.

The veteran organizer Pat Hogan of Sounds and Furies Productions met me. She really is a production feminist friend from way back and seems to have longer days than most mortals. The show was in Wise Hall, an old cultural and sports center, that has been refurbished from its days as a post-game drinking hole for Welsh, Scottish, Irish and English teams. I had prepared for the requisite percentage of “Canadian content” but was mostly chagrinned to be describing our American struggle for marriage equality and healthcare. They have both in Canada. Their forbearance had just a tinge of justifiable smugness.

The next day, after hours of annoying if efficient immigration lines, I flew into Seattle, WA and hitched a ride with Seattle producer, Paul Bauer for a one hour drive to Olympia. Nothing like car rides for uninterrupted catch-up. That night I performed at the gorgeous Washington Center.   Before the show, I stopped over to the Chica’s Café for a 50th birthday party my friend Kathy [aka Doodle] Smith hosted for her girlfriend. I’ll go anywhere for a Scorpio sister.

The next morning I left two days of rain and fifty degrees. In the Northwest they don’t say rain. They say drizzle, and only tourists use umbrellas. One woman told me since it rains all the time, you just can’t give into it. But what about my hair?
When I landed in Phoenix it was hot and dry. Luckily I had stored up hydration or I would have split down the middle.

But the ever-prepared Barbara McCullough-Jones, from Equality Arizona met me with a bottle of water. EA has done lots of events at the Fairmont Hotel in Scottsdale, so my lodgings were gratis. The place is a huge resort, but the man who took me to my room knew the way and it turned out he was from my hometown of Buffalo, NY. On our long trek, we shared about lake effect and the heartbreak of the Buffalo Bills.

That night I performed to a great crowd at the Wrigley Mansion. Yes, of the gum fame. Though not Nicorette, so what’s the point? Arizona is a state that has valiantly fought the Mormons and the right wing for marriage equality, so it was a great night to let off steam. Also good hydration.

After a great breakfast chat with Barbara about all the strategies they’ve been doing to change hearts and minds in AZ, I flew to Tucson. The town is a bit bluer than the red of Phoenix and that day they were having their huge annual Day of the Dead Parade. The lovely Kristen Birner, a friend from back in the Olivia, Redwood travel booking days, and a transplant to Tucson of six years, produced the show for the Alliance. At the reception after I met the Alliance board members, Lane Aldrich an artist and transplant from Bowling Green OH, special guests and a wonderful group of young LGBT and allies who work with Wingspan, their LGBT center.

The next morning at 5am, Jeff who with his partner runs The Royal Elizabeth B&B where I stayed very happily, got up and drove me to the airport. He wouldn’t hear of taxi.   Jeff and Chuck are Long Island/DC transplants – I met one native Arizonan in two days – gracious hosts and political activists. I had one of the best early morning to the airport conversations I’ve ever had. Even better than the 430a ride to O’Hare with the vet at the Chicago Zoo who told me how she got rhino semen. Another story, another time.

Safely and happily home now in Manhattan. It’s freaky warm for November and about to rain, this day after my birthday. My life is a gift.

Election Day

KateClinton — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 20:00:00 GMT

At 7:30 this election morning, we walked to our local polling place in the elementary school, past the “Vote Aqui” signs, past the bake sale moms, the cellophaned chocolate chip Frisbees and into the voting area. The elderly near-sighted, hard-of-hearing, darling polling ladies found our names. We signed the right spaces, went into the booth and voted. I love yanking that riverboat-sized lever that registers my votes. We walked out. It took about five minutes.

Last year we went to vote at 6 a.m., joined the end of a huge, line snaking down the block, dark morning air dotted with puffs of steam from coffee. Inside the packed, bikram muggy voting area, we were sent from one table to the next, stood in more lines and finally voted for Barack Obama. It took about an hour. It was just getting light as we left.

What a year it has been. No doubt you have your own ups and downs for your personal political highlights reel. When I view my own reel it seems to go into slo-mo on gay issues at first with Rick Warren, DADT and DOMA dallying, but then speeds up with the signing of the Hate Crimes bill and the lifting of the HIV immigration ban. I used the split screen function for economy, environment and education highlights. Obama’s got a lot going on. I spliced in a lot of art, music, vegetable garden, and Michelle footage. Lots of Michelle highlights. There’s too much quagmire footage.

I’m waiting to hear how my brother Bill did in his re-election bid to his city council in PA and for LGBT news from Kalamazoo, Washington and Maine. The governor’s race in NJ is too close to call. Our mayor’s audacious bid for a third term seems a done deal.

But mostly I am remembering last Election Day, stomach in knots, approaching-avoiding exit poll news, obsessively cleaning. That night at a friend’s house we watched, stunned as Barack Hussein Obama hit the required electoral count and heard the city erupt around us. Today a year after that historic election night, I realize I am happy to be a year into the Obama administration.

Sit on My Lapse

KateClinton — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 19:36:00 GMT

When people wonder to me about what I’ll do without George Bush, I tell them that I’ll always have the Pope. And of course, the Cheneys who are keeping America safe, but not from themselves. I could do a whole new ninety minute Pope show if it weren’t so annoying to my never or now non-Catholic friends. We lapsed Catholics find ourselves endlessly interesting, but it is a special ring of hell for listeners.

From his dubious just-following holy orders deep past, to his more recent past as Czar of the Congregation for the Doctrine of Faith, under his old boss Pope John Paul II, who is beginning to look as benign as Mr. Magoo, Pope Benedict XVI’s highlight reel of his four years pontificating is a doozy.

Like a sandcastle basilica facing an incoming tide, the RCC is facing a sea of secularism, and the Pope is using his mitered shovel to dig a futile moat. Since attendance at confession is down, big time, he upgraded sins for the modern era: drug dealing, corporate greed, child abuse. He incentivized confession by bringing back indulgences. Think double coupon days. He got rid of Limbo, just when I was getting over the loss of Pluto. He went to Africa and recklessly said that condoms have nothing to do with stopping the spread AIDS.

The Pope brought back the Tridentine face to-the-wall Latin mass. The mass looks like a time-out-corner punishment in kindergarten. He said protecting heterosexuality from the onslaught of homosexuality is as important as protecting the rainforests from destruction, making LGBT the clearcutters in the virgin forest of heterosexuality. First he tried to root gay men out of seminaries and lately he has been rooting out American nuns, for the sin of liberalism and tirelessly running the church’s charities, hospitals, schools and cleaning up the altar after the mass. I have made our apartment a safe house on the underground railway for runaway nuns. Tell your friends. Password: Song of Bernadette.

And fall membership drives are no longer just the province of Public Radio. In a bid to boost his numbers, and annex the Divineland, the Pope preemptively cancelled the 450 year old split with Henry VIII’s old Anglican Church and welcomed them, individually, by parish or by diocese into the healing vortex of the RCC after just a wee bit of counseling in the sweat lodge. More hot rocks! He is one Spiritual Warrior.

Acquisition details are still being worked out with uh, no one, certainly not the middling Archbishop of Canterbury and not so much with Episcopalians, that gay-bishop ordaining American League branch of the Anglican Church. Married Anglican priests with the impeccable het credentials of the wife and kids are welcomed. In your dreams is it the beginning of married priests. All reactionary, angry, misogynistic, homophobic Anglicans are also welcome.

Meanwhile in upstate New York, my two brothers and their wives have been trying to keep their parish churches open. One brother from a small rural church first participated in prayerful sit-ins to forestall the closure and then occupied the church after the bishop ordered it closed. He went with his parish committee to Rome to plead their case. The church was shuttered. My other brother was in a liberal urban parish that welcomed the LGBT community, performed gay weddings and long participated in local anti-poverty and anti-war movements. He and his wife called their parish “The St. James Barely Catholic Church”. The church was one of the first closed.

As a lesbian I have very little tolerance for the Catholic Church. It has less for me. My Hindu girlfriend, with the cool belief in reincarnation and many-armed deities, urges me to have more respect for the Catholic Church. After this latest move by the Pope and the church’s usual denial of what is really going on in the back room, I have less respect for the church, but greater admiration for my brothers, their wives and all those who have struggled to keep their church open to all who practice loving spirituality in a secular world.

Summer Collage

KateClinton — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 20:41:00 GMT

Summer here in Provincetown is about half-over. My low maintenance, orange-alert, day lilies have given it their quotidian best. My green thumb for petunias is sticky from the daily dead-heading you must do to keep them from getting all straggly, whiny and I-want-some-sun-too. My impatiens are usually my prize-winners, but this summer after ten straight days of fog and rain, they looked puny and I over fertilized them. Lesson: don’t get impatient with your impatiens.

It’s not just the progression from lilacs and lilies to dahlias and hydrangea that signal summer’s midpoint. We’ve phased through several theme weekends – Memorial Day, Portuguese Fest, Film Festival, July Fourth, Bear Week - on our way to Carnival and Labor Day. Girl Splash, the newest and most recent theme weekend was a big fun success with lots of women and women performers in town. Girl Splash promises to become the bridge event between Memorial Day when the young recently-graduated college girls come to town for one last lesbo blowout and Columbus Day when the more mature babes motor in for Women’s Week.

We’re also cycling too quickly through summer’s many fundraising benefit parties: GLAAD, Mass Equality, The Pan Mass Challenge, Helping Our Women, and the AIDS Support Group of Cape Cod on our way to August 29th’s big Lily Tomlin Bark Park fundraiser, emceed by moi. Organizations use cocktail parties, auctions, barbecues and drag bingo to raise money for great groups in these rough, okay hideous, economic times. I emceed the recent Gay Lesbian Advocates and Defenders [GLAD] cocktail party at the base of the PTown monument on a rare sunny afternoon. We celebrated GLAD’s marriage equality work, and executive director Lee Swislow outlined GLAD’s work on MA transgender civil rights bill, their suit challenging DOMA and their Maine campaign to defend marriage equality.

This week there’s an unsettling themelessness in town and despite my vague vertigo, I am enjoying the lull. So far no one has called for the “Skip and Jim Have a Beer with Barack Week,” the “Scavenger Hunt for Lou Dobbs’ Birth Certificate Week,” “I Hate the Insurance Lobby Week,” or the “Citizen Palin Poetry Week.” We’ve had a few hot, sunny days and I think people are at the beach. Maybe they’re just resting up for Gay Family Week.

Next week the town will crowded with double-wide strollers, face-painted kid kitties, the smallest rainbow crocs you’ve ever seen and pods of gay parents sharing tales of triumph and trial. There will be beach fires, dances, and meet-n-greets. For the past couple years I have remarked on the fact that gay parents don’t seem to bring their tweens or teens. I worried aloud that parents had turned them in for younger kids, or a ten and and six year old for a sixteen year old. But one of the fabulous, fast talking, smarty pants tweens took me aside and informed me that they were all in workshops with Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere, COLAGE. The reason I had not seen them was that they are in training to be equality advocates, allies and community organizers. I told them that next summer they should invite the Obama family over from Oak Bluffs for a sunset beachfire. Those COLAGErs could make it happen.

Barbar Dyke

KateClinton — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 16:53:00 GMT

“Well there’s a job I never wanted,” my mom once remarked as we watched an elephant trainer on some TV variety show putting a pachyderm through his paces. If I remember correctly, the gentle, possibly drugged, giant was in a top hat and tails doing “Putting on the Ritz.” I said, “I’m glad you are narrowing down your career choices.”

I never wanted to run a bankrupt car company either, but as a taxpayer apparently I now own one. Okay, here’s what I want done by next Tuesday: change the name “General Motors” to something less militaristic. I like “I-Cars”. As a matter of fact I’d like the Apple people to oversee the transition. Start with an I-Phone and then just add Applications like wheels, an electric motor, and a lightweight body. Even if they name it
“I-Lemon” and the battery runs down after four hours, people will buy it if it’s in cool packaging and they get a coupon for a free hour at the genius bar down at the virtual showroom.

Forget it, I love my job, even though this June Gay Pride I am so bored with heterosexism, I could scream. The world is tanking and all they want to do is protect opposite marriage. Puhleeze. Get over yourselves. North Korea has a dying, wack job leader with nuclear weapons begging for attention. Look up.

Can you tell I was just in California? The state is suffering from the long range effects of the 1978 Proposition 13, a short-sighted cockamamie proposition to limit property taxes and the 2001 Cheeeney manufactured energy crisis that brought down Democratic governor Gray Davis. California like GM is in bankruptcy proceedings. But mostly they don’t want gay people to get married. Some nut-job, Bill O’Really, will soon suggest-demand that the 18,000 gay married couples be detained on Alcatraz so they can be quarantined.

But NCLR, the National Center for Lesbian Rights, the heart of the LGBT movement, managed to throw a fund-raising party that would have made Celine My Heart Will Go On Dion proud. I emceed the dinner in the gorgeous St. Francis Hotel. Actress/activist Jane Lynch presented the Voice and Visibility Award to Ilene Chaiken, well-heeled creator of The L-Word; Noemi Calonje NCLR’s brill immigration attorney presented the Community Empowerment Award to El-La, an amazing force for the Latina/o transgender community; and NCLR’s indefatigable Shannon Mintner presented the Justice Award to Lara Embry, an NCLR client from Florida who challenged FL’s mean-spirited foster care laws. The after-party was a dance to delirium event. I think I saw Miss USA California, Carrie Prejean. Pass it on.

In the waning days of May, I had two great book pleasures. After the Memorial Day weekend working at the Crown and Anchor in Ptown, I went into Boston and met with my book team at Beacon Press. It happened to be the same day that Beacon announced that they would be re-publishing all the writings of Martin Luther King. It was the end of a three year negotiation with the King estate, and Beacon with its long Unitarian history of publishing works about racism, poverty, pacifism is the right publisher for the necessary task. I’m proud of them and even more amazed to have my book, I TOLD YOU SO, on their roster.

That night I did a reading at the Brattle Theater sponsored by the Center for New Words. I was honored to be the last in their long, important author’s series and glad to hear that this fearless group of feminists is transforming itself again. From a 28 year old bookstore to a six year stint in programmatic development, they are fearlessly changing again. In the face of economic exigencies, I hate you George Bush, they have decided to focus on their internationally acclaimed Women, Action and Media Conference. WAM! The goal is develop progressive women’s voices and ideas in the new world of media and communication.

The next day, I shuttled back home to New York and presented three Lammy awards at the Lambda Liberty Awards. My categories were Lesbian Romance, Mystery and Erotica. It was a trifecta of fun. So much fun, that I forgot to mention that I have a new book out – I TOLD YOU SO – have I told you about it? – and was promptly fired by my publicist Michele Karlsberg, who was in the audience. Just kidding. But I’m on probation.

Hook 'Em

KateClinton — Fri, 22 May 2009 18:23:00 GMT

Despite threats of secession from Texas Governor Rick Perry, the Lone Star State was still connected to the mainland when I visited San Antonio to speak to the Equality Texas folks. I called down the ghosts of Ann Richards and Molly Ivins to protect me on my journey. They showed me a really good time.

The co-chair of the brunch event, Barbara del Amo met me at baggage claim with a big smile and a big purple sign that read K8. She took me out to the curb where Tex, her partner of 28 years was waiting. Since I’d been delayed in Dallas – I was detained for not wearing teabags as accessories – we went almost immediately to a donor reception at the lovely Gallery Vetro on the Riverwalk in San Antonio. I chatted with lots of wonderful, big spirited Texans who have been legislating, organizing and partying for equal rights in Texas for years. I tried not to knock over any of the gorgeous hand-blown glass creations as I schmoozed.

A couple of the women I spoke to apologized for leaving early to go to another event in town. When I heard where they were going, I got Barbara and Tex to take me there after the reception.

For years Graciela Sancehz has been trying to get my partner Urvashi and me to come visit the Esperanza Peace and Justice Center that she founded. That evening they were honoring the work of Gloria Anzaldua, a writer and cultural theorist who died five years ago. I was thrilled to be able to finally attend. In a magnificent, colorful converted former car showroom, the Center was jammed with people milling around the visual art exhibit El Mundo Zurdo, a celebration of borderlands, sexuality, spirituality and queer identity. Graciela introduced me to her family, friends and proudly showed me around. Next time you’re in San Antonio, make sure you stop by.

The Equality Texas brunch the next day in the gorgeous converted train station was another festive-serious fundraiser for all the work that Paul Scott, executive director and his organization are doing for LGBT equality in Texas. Keith Price, a native Texan and XM radio personality, and I mean personality, emceed the event. I met everyone from elected officials, judges, major donors to the newly formed LGBT student group at a local Catholic! College. You really haven’t lived until you’ve experienced Tex run an auction with Keith Price.

If you visit San Antonio, don’t forget to see both cities. There is the gorgeous one you see above ground, but then there’s a whole lovely river city below street level. Three women, Kim, Judith and Denise were kind enough to take me on boat cruise of the two and a half mile river cruise through the city, even though Denise, a facebook friend from way back, had horrible allergies and was in tears most of the ride. After, they took me out of town for “authentic Mexican cuisine” at Los Barrios. Now when someone says “authentic Mexican cuisine” I get frightened because too often I’ve been served a gringo version – a large brown puddle of lumpen something. Los Barrios was the real deal.

Barbara and Tex took me to the airport at an ungodly hour on Monday morning and I spent the day flying and changing planes until I got to Provincetown – just in time for the lilacs and lilies of the valley. Ahhhhh.

Club for Growth

KateClinton — Fri, 22 May 2009 16:56:00 GMT

Founded in 1999, the Club for Growth is a fiscally conservative political organization and an affiliated political action committee that raises money for candidates, AKA Republicans, who support a low-tax and limited-government agenda. Because the group was about to use its club dues to support Pat Toomey in the Pennsylvania Republican primary against him, Arlen Sphincter bolted to the Democratic Party. The Club had dubbed Arlen a RINO – Republican in Name Only. Now he’s a DINO. And not the urbane, smoking, drinking Rat Packer Dean Martin. Too bad. Arlen is a Democrat in name only.

The Club for Growth hates moderate Republicans. Just ask the former Republican Senator from Rhode Island, Lincoln Chafee. Maine’s Senators Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins cause the CFG to put their Club heads back in the darkening sky and howl like wolverines. It’s as if those Gathering Storm zombies did too much testosterone and then set off to find their gay prey. See that chewed up bow tie by the side of the road? That’s all that’s left of poor old Lincoln Chafee.

Club for growth. Nothing says it better. It sounds like a Monty Python sketch. I picture those Capital One “What’s in your wallet?” barbarians or those blue-faced Braveheart guys doing their creative destruction best, marauding, trampling new green shoots and thumping little baby seals. It’s very Conan the Republican. Cudgel for creativity. Shillelaghs for peace.

After thirty years of an ascendant, dominant Republican Party, the club-like pendulum is swinging back from its far outer reach. In the next thirty years it will swing out wide the other way and the Democratic Party will peak then diminish. A strong moderate Republican Party might save the Democrats from themselves but not by trying tag it “the Democrat-Socialist Party,” calling for secessions or tea-bagging its way into activism. Perhaps by the time the Dems are descendant again, there will be a viable third party waiting in the midpoint of the arc like a big brick wall to stop the inevitable oscillation once and for all and start a whole new movement.

The California Earthquake @ Long Beach Pride

JuliePhineas — Tue, 19 May 2009 00:43:00 GMT

The 26th Long Beach Lesbian and Gay Pride Celebration was held this past weekend and my wife and I were there when a 4.7 earthquake hit.

We had entered the festival and met up with friends at the various tents that were set up for music and dancing. We walked around and saw lots of familiar faces while we explored our shopping ops, food finds, and drink deals. The mojitos were rockin and we scoped some cute clothing at the Tung Gear clothing booth. We made some donations and signed up for some mailing lists, and listened to people talk about equality, substance abuse, legal aid, and other issues affecting LGBTs. The food booths offered a good variety and there was plenty of pride gear for sale all around.

Around 8pm we made our way over to the main stage to watch Jazmine Sullivan perform, who has an amazing voice and recently released the hit song "Bust Your Windows", which is a must for your iPod.

She did an awesome job performing her songs and keeping the crowd pumped. She was very gay friendly and told the crowd not to let the haters get to us and kill our dreams. Closer to the end of her performance she fell on stage, and after standing up and removing her shoes she said she was happy that she had her first official stage fall in Long Beach because we are so supportive.

Just after her performance, we were waiting for Sara Bareilles to come on stage when we felt the bleachers start to sway from side to side.

Everyone who was sitting on the bleachers froze and held on until it stopped a few second later. The woman who was speaking on stage didn't skip a beat, and the crowd below seemed not to notice anything. We walked down the bleachers to the ground and some of the people below were asking each other "Did you feel that?" "Was that an earthquake?" We could see that the street lights were still swaying and instantly knew that it was in fact an earthquake.

Most of the people went back to what they were doing un-phased and continued to walk around and shop, eat, etc.

My wife and I started to leave immediately, trying to get a hold of our babysitter at the same time. The cell phone lines were all tied up and we could only reach people who had land line numbers, and everyone in the family networked messages that everyone was okay.

On the drive home we listened to radio which told us that the earthquake was located southeast of Los Angeles and was felt as far away as San Diego.

The quake measured a 4.7 on the Richter scale and lasted about ten seconds. It was followed by a 3.1 magnitude aftershock and originated from the Newport-Inglewood Fault which is about 10 miles from our home in Carson. When we got home we had some broken dishes and and excited pets, but luckily no broken windows like some had been reporting in the area. The kids were a little scared and so we did our emergency preparedness talk and drill, and made sure everyone knew the plan if we had an aftershock. At the end of the day, we were all safe, and grateful that it all worked out.

If you live in California and are looking for information on what you can do to prepare for an earthquake, you can visit www.earthquakecountry.info.

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her by visiting her website at www.juliephineas.com.